I have offered a new identity to those who have survived sexual violation. I call these women “Princess Warriors” – as they are God-designed, uniquely gifted women that Last Battle wants to help become renewed individuals and legacy-changers in the world at large. If you want to live a life refined by this new identity, understand and use the following tools. If you have any questions….just ask!
Princess Warriors are:
- Royalty made by the royal hands of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
- This King and Lord has known us and wanted us in His family since the beginning of time.
- We are heirs to the throne of Christ – made to live in His love and truth.
- We are the first and last of our kind. No one has our DNA, our thumbprint, and combination of our preferences, quirks of character or our story.
- We are built for greatness and freedom and for a holy cause that has eternal significance.
- Have battle scars formed from the war waged on her femininity<./li>
- Targeted because they are designed with greatness.
- World changers with scars.
The scars of the Princess Warrior display the enemy’s fierce fight against her, for all she brings to her days on earth. Satan wants to end the fervor and might of these women, but God has a plan to prosper Princess Warriors to bring great good to them and to the kingdom of God.
How do I integrate this greatness when I have been humiliated and devastated by sexual violation?
Answers to this question are as vast as your pain. Let me start with saying that it may take time to trust this good news, because trust always takes time. There is no rush, no pressure. Your brain follows your body and your body follows your brain. Right now, I am going to give your brain some information. It’s up to you to repeat it, to recite it, to give this brain information a place in your body.
Affirmations are necessary. They’re fodder for Saturday Night Live skits, but they are powerful if you give them power. That is your choice, always. This is where you are always in control. So give it a shot and read these aloud like a prayer. You’ll be surprised how your brain will recall them when you need them. Choose three that really stick out and write them on your mirror in your bathroom. Set an alarm on your smart phone to read them three times a day. Your body will integrate what is repeated in the brain. Take a deep breath and say them aloud.
Examples of Affirmations:
- I’m responsible for my reaction to what happens to me.
- Circumstances are what they are, but I can choose my attitude toward them.
- I am setting priorities and making time for what is important.
- Life has its challenges and its satisfactions—I enjoy the adventure of life.
- I love and accept myself the way I am.
- I deserve the good things in life as much as anyone else.
- It’s never too late to change. I am improving one step at a time.
- Today I am going to notice all the good things I do.
- If someone doesn’t return my love, I let it go and move on.
- My body will let me know when I am doing my best today. I will listen to it and let go of the rest.
- I can recover by taking small risks at my own pace.
- It’s Ok to be upset when things go wrong. My behavior about how I will react to this upset is mine to control.
- It’s never too late to change.
Always feel free to write your own, too! This is all about stretching out that great intuition inside of you, getting the voice moving and flexible, the brain agile and quick, and being in the control seat of developing into the true person God has created you to be.
Mary Ellen Mann is a licensed clinical social worker in private practice in Denver (visit www.manncounselinggroup.com). After attending a Christian college, she did her graduate work at Columbia University. Recently she co-founded Last Battle, LLC and helped develop the first interactive website for survivors of sexual violation, www.lastbattle.org, to help survivors, family and friends of survivors, Christian leaders, and professionals who care about this population. Her book, From Pain to Power will be on the market September 22, 2015. Mary Ellen lives in Denver with her husband and their two sons.